A letter to my baby

I was having a hard time trying to find the words for this month's blog, so I decided instead to write a letter to Heidi about what it has been like having her in the world these past 10 weeks. After writing it, I nearly didn't publish it since it is so personal, but then I thought it was the best expression of how I feel at the moment and maybe a few other people might enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Dear Heidi,

The past 10 weeks have been amazing! I can’t tell you what a thrill you have been to your Daddy and me. We have loved every single minute that you have been in this world – even those moon-kissed 4am minutes.

Your first few weeks were full of sleeping and your Mommy trying to figure out how to increase her milk supply. I even spent an entire day with you strapped to my boobs in a sling trying to get you to drink so that the milk supply would increase to meet the demand. As much as I love you, that day nearly killed me and after shedding a few tears, Daddy and I decided that I would supplement with formula until I the milk came in. Now, 10 weeks on, no more tears and you are nearly 90% breastfed.

And babycakes, you are a guzzle chops! In the hospital, it was a huge effort to get you to drink 20mls and today, you easily put down nearly 250mls in one sitting. You don’t wait either – you suck that milk down like it is the last bottle you’ll ever get to drink!

Everyone thinks you are beautiful. Your Daddy and I can’t stop staring at you. Often we look at each other and ask God out loud, “What in the world did we do to deserve you?” You are such an angel!! You never fuss and if you do, it is either because you are hungry or you are tired.

You’ve done a lot in the past 10 weeks. But the highlight came when you started smiling about a week ago. You have a huge, bright smile! It is like watching a sunflower unfold under a clear, blue sky. Your eyes light up and your face is the definition of genuine happiness.

Heidi, I’m so lucky to have you, we are so lucky to have you. There are so many precious Moms and Dads who have lost their little ones. My heart aches at the very thought of not spending another second with you. We must never forget what a gift we have been given.

You probably won’t ever remember this, but every night, after I put you to bed and once you have fallen asleep, I kiss your forehead and say “I love you.” I pray for you constantly. I pray that you will know God and that you will know His love. I pray that you can become everything you set out to be. But mostly, I say “Thank you” not just to God, but to Daddy - for I had no idea just how much you would mean to me.

Your Daddy and I love you with all our hearts,

Mommy

 

Heidi Elizabeth Foster

Right now - she is sleeping. Actually, she's been doing a lot of that lately. But whether she is sleeping, eating, playing or snuggling, my daughter Heidi Elizabeth Foster is the most precious, beautiful little thing I have ever seen. My husband Tim and I have been more than blessed to have this little angel in our lives.

Just yesterday, Tim and I were discussing how the last three years have brought so many changes and blessings. In 2008, we got engaged in China. In 2009, we were married in Switzerland and now, in 2010, we have started on the amazing journey of parenthood.

Heidi's birth was such a big event for me. I have to admit that even though I had taken a six week course, done my EPI-NO exercises and had read as many books as I could get my hands on, I was still a bit apprehensive about how it was going to go.

Friday, March 5th, Tim and I went to the doctor around 11:00am for my final check-up. At the appointment, our doctor told us that he didn't think the baby would come before the weekend. After the appointment, Tim and I grabbed a burger lunch at the California Grill. Tim went on to work and I jumped on my bike to go and see my friend Gill.

When I arrived at Gill's flat, I got off my bike and felt a gush of water down my legs - to be honest, I thought I had just been unable to hold my pee back (being 9 months pregnant puts a lot of pressure on your bladder). I decided that I should probably just go home, so I hopped back on my bike and rode home. The same thing happened when I got to my flat. I started to think that maybe my water had broken. I decided to wait it out - and in the meantime - I was grading English papers that students in my class had written.

Tim had to work late and I had a work social function that I had to go to, so I got dressed up and made my way over to Gracie Kelly's Pub. I had been told by my friend Chanda that I should drink a Prosecco right around my due date to get the ball rolling. So, having promptly ordered my baby-come-sooner-bubbly, I sat down to discuss life with my colleagues. After I finished my drink I stood up - and - guess what happened? Another huge gush, but this time it didn't stop!! My jeans looked like someone had put a fire hose to them!

I quickly snuck  (or sneaked if you're an English freak) out of the bar and, texting my husband to say that I thought my water had broken, rushed home as fast as my little legs could carry me. When Tim got home, we had dinner and discussed whether or not we needed to go to the hospital. I wasn't having any contractions, but Tim had read that if your water breaks, you need to go to the hospital within 24 hours so that you don't risk getting an infection. I'm so glad my husband remembers this stuff!

We called the hospital and they asked us to come that night, so after finishing a cup of tea and calling our parents, our friend Markus came and picked us up to take us to the hospital. We ended up sleeping at the hospital over night, while the midwives monitored my contractions. Throughout the night I was having 7 minute contractions, but nothing too intense.

By 10am the next morning, our doctor decided that because of the risk of infection, we needed to induce. Inducing means that they force the contractions and it can be more painful than natural contractions. I was able to go about 7 hours before I needed some pain medicine. Basically, until about 5pm, I was very strong mentally, even though the contractions were strong, I was able to do my breathing and Tim was very helpful in pressing against my back during the contractions to alleviate the pain.

With the help of the pain meds through a drip, I was able to go from not believing I could deliver to being able to handle the situation again. Things seemed to be progressing until about 7pm when the doctor said that my cervix was closing back up. It had dilated to 8cm, but was now back to 5cm. Without an epidural, he said, I would risk having a C-section if my cervix didn't open up soon.

Although Tim and I didn't want to do an epidural, we knew that it was probably the only option. And, in the end, the epidural was amazing! I ended up taking a nap, to regain some strength. The great thing about the Epidural was that again, I could feel the contractions, but I could handle the pain and I could stay positive and relaxed.

The most exciting part about the birth was the pushing. It was the realization that my baby was about to be in the world. Even though I had no pain, I could feel the baby moving forward with every push. The doctor had me feel the baby's head with my fingers. It was so surreal! Then the doctor said that we were only about three or four contractions away. It was insane feeling the baby come out, first the head, then the shoulders, then the rest of it's body.

As soon as I heard the cry, I looked at Tim, "What is it? What is it??" He laughed and said, "Hold on, I can't tell!!" and then someone said, "It's a girl!" The next thing out of my mouth was, "Wow, that was so worth it!"

And, it has been sooo worth it. I had no idea how much I would enjoy motherhood. We are now on day 19 and I couldn't be happier or more thankful to God for my precious baby girl. I'm so lucky.

You can see more pictures on my facebook page or videos by going to my youtube.com channel. 

The Big 3-0

When I was 8, I wanted to be 10. When I was 11, I wanted to be 13. When I was 14, I wanted to be 16 and when I was 19, I wanted to be 21. Fondly enough, I never remember once in my 20s, wishing that I was 30.

But... here I am, not only 30 years old - but married and pregnant! Ha, if my 20 year-old self could see me now!

To be honest, I think there is something very sexy and sophisticated about young mothers in their 30s. They seem to have things together, they may not know exactly what tomorrow brings, but they know who they are.

I know who I am - even though I've got a new name and a baby growing inside me. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure with an amazing husband and supportive friends and family. I know that God has always looked out for me and has made sure that even when things are tough, I know He's got my back.

And, I know for the first time that I want to be my age. I don't wish I could turn back the clocks and repeat those years - they were hard enough - I'll gladly leave them behind. I guess the best thing about turning 30, is actually wanting to be 30.

To teach or not to teach

Having promptly missed writing in June (for good reason, I might add), July somehow almost slipped under the radar. It has been an exciting couple of months here in Switzerland. After Tim and I got back from our honeymoon, I went into full job search mode.

It might surprise you to know that recently even Switzerland has been hit by the global downturn, making jobs for non-fluent German speakers, such as myself, nearly impossible to get. So, I've resorted to a back-up plan, which at the moment seems to be the plan - I've enrolled in a CELTA course in Oxford to learn to teach English as a foreign language.

A month from tomorrow, I'm off to Oxford to start my new career path, unless of course, some surprise wonder job pops up between now and then. I'm excited about the course, not just because I will be able to spend some time surrounded by English speakers, not just because I get to explore the beautiful city of Oxford, but because I will get a chance to look into something that I've always considered doing, teaching.

When I was a kid, my career ambition was to be an art teacher, that changed eventually to being a missionary and then somewhere along the line it turned into Olympian, then wife and mother, then Politician. Oddly enough, the older I get, the idea of becoming a Politician is fading slowly away. My husband thinks I'm too nice, I'm fairly certain that isn't true - personally, I think my missing political ingredient is spine, i.e. how bad I am at stating my case in a heated argument (basically I cry).

Teacher, in one form or another, was on the list and now it is back on... we'll see if "Olympian" ever comes of age. According to the 10,000 hour rule, I still haven't shot enough arrows to warrant quitting. Being a wife and someday a mother are very exciting things, having a happy marriage and home are certainly lifetime goals of mine which, quite frankly, are more important than any other task God has given me to date.

Wedding Countdown

It seems that just yesterday my wedding was over 190 days away. Now it is right around the corner, in only 34 days I will officially be Mrs. Foster. I have no doubt that I have overdone the facebook messages letting people know how excited I am about marrying Tim, but I feel so lucky to have the love of my life for the rest of my life!

Wedding-wise, everything seems to be falling into place. Tim and I finalized the dinner menu yesterday and decided on a wedding cake. We now have the photographer and the organist booked. There is even a transport surprise for all our guests!

I won't tell you which dress I am wearing from Elsa Gary, but I'm taking a train to Paris to pick it up in just four short weeks with one of my bridesmaids, Simone Gignoux.

For a long time Tim and I were debating whether or not to have flower girls (I kid you not when I say that the aisle is very long - the church is meant to hold 900 people!), but decided in the end that we had to have them in the wedding! The dresses are adorable, I've never seen anything like them in my life.

As for archery, I'm still building up my strength, but my recovery is complete in my opinion. I don't feel any pain when I shoot anymore. In March, I shot at the Swiss Indoor Championships and qualified 2nd. Unfortunately, I had a disqualified arrow which prevented me from qualifying first. Despite not being able to shoot in the Olympic Round because I'm not part of a Swiss club yet, I'm happy that I was able to compete again and shoot well.

My next tournament is in three weeks in Switzerland, I was going to try and shoot in Bulgaria but I still have a lot of work to do to be internationally competitive. Now that I've recovered, my focus isn't about just getting back to where I was, but pushing myself to a new level.

Anyhow, thanks for reading my post, the next time I write, I will most likely be a married woman!

Enjoying life in the midst of the worst economy of our generation

At 5:00am on Thursday, February 19th, the blast of a canon startled me awake. A second canon boom lured me away from my warm bed to my kitchen window only to see what looked like a Texas long horn conducting a marching band on the cobbled street below.

This would be one of almost 100 "Fasnacht" bands that would continue to play on the streets of the Old Town in Luzern for the next week - ceasing only Friday night and Sunday night. Although, I was exhausted at the end of the week - it is really hard to sleep soundly when drums are banging away below your window all night long - the energy I got from the new experience was incredible.

So often in life, we live day in and day out not realizing what is going on in other parts of the world. The experience of Fasnacht reminded me that this world is just as full of wonderful experiences as it is of terrible ones.

Right now, millions of people are experiencing exponential personal debt, they are losing their homes and jobs. The stress is causing the break up of families and a strain on personal health.

When I struggled financially four years ago, I didn't want to tell anyone and I didn't want any help. Then one Sunday in church, I heard about Crown's Biblical Financial study and I decided that it wouldn't hurt to try. The 10-week Bible intensive study opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at money - not as my money, but as God's money.

If you, like me four years ago, are struggling to appreciate life right now because of the immense financial burdens of this collapsed economy, find out if a church near you is putting on a Crown study and sign up. It is just one way of getting back to enjoying life in the worst economy of our generation.

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Tribute to Bob Towne

Last Thursday night, with a heavy heart and tears welling in my eyes, I made a phone call to a dear friend’s mom. “Just tell him that I love him and tell him how much I appreciate everything he has done for me.” I told her how much he had believed in me when others hadn’t and how he took time off of work to coach me in the build up to the 2008 Olympic Trials and then at the trials themselves.

The very next evening Bob Towne died. Bob, also fondly known to the Olympic Training Center athletes as “the babysitter,” had a rare form of cancer that killed his body and took his life in just five short months. I first met Bob when Coach Lee asked him to “babysit” the archers at the OTC while Coach Lee was out of town.

Bob had a very relaxed style of coaching and his love of the sport and the athletes made his babysitting stints very enjoyable for us. Eventually Bob started coming down to the range on a regular basis; he started building us custom finger tabs and was constantly trying to learn more about the BEST technique.

When he wasn’t at the Training Center, he was transferring all of his newly found knowledge to a group of young athletes whom he was mentoring. One of his pupils Anna, a very ambitious and happy eight year old, won every tournament she entered last year.

In 2007, when I was asked to shoot three personal bests in order to stay at the training center, it was Bob who stood by me and told me that I could do it when I was on the brink of throwing in the towel. If he ever doubted me, he never said so and when I did hit the numbers, he was the person I was the most excited to tell.

Eventually, I was asked to leave the training center despite hitting my personal bests. When others had given up on me, Bob agreed to help. We spent three days a week together and his unconditional encouragement despite all the obstacles I was facing was refreshing.

At the end of my phone call with Bob’s mom, she said with a crack in her voice, “When you win that medal, I hope you do it for Bob.” “Without question” I answered. Additional information about Bob on US Archery's site.