A letter to my baby

I was having a hard time trying to find the words for this month's blog, so I decided instead to write a letter to Heidi about what it has been like having her in the world these past 10 weeks. After writing it, I nearly didn't publish it since it is so personal, but then I thought it was the best expression of how I feel at the moment and maybe a few other people might enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Dear Heidi,

The past 10 weeks have been amazing! I can’t tell you what a thrill you have been to your Daddy and me. We have loved every single minute that you have been in this world – even those moon-kissed 4am minutes.

Your first few weeks were full of sleeping and your Mommy trying to figure out how to increase her milk supply. I even spent an entire day with you strapped to my boobs in a sling trying to get you to drink so that the milk supply would increase to meet the demand. As much as I love you, that day nearly killed me and after shedding a few tears, Daddy and I decided that I would supplement with formula until I the milk came in. Now, 10 weeks on, no more tears and you are nearly 90% breastfed.

And babycakes, you are a guzzle chops! In the hospital, it was a huge effort to get you to drink 20mls and today, you easily put down nearly 250mls in one sitting. You don’t wait either – you suck that milk down like it is the last bottle you’ll ever get to drink!

Everyone thinks you are beautiful. Your Daddy and I can’t stop staring at you. Often we look at each other and ask God out loud, “What in the world did we do to deserve you?” You are such an angel!! You never fuss and if you do, it is either because you are hungry or you are tired.

You’ve done a lot in the past 10 weeks. But the highlight came when you started smiling about a week ago. You have a huge, bright smile! It is like watching a sunflower unfold under a clear, blue sky. Your eyes light up and your face is the definition of genuine happiness.

Heidi, I’m so lucky to have you, we are so lucky to have you. There are so many precious Moms and Dads who have lost their little ones. My heart aches at the very thought of not spending another second with you. We must never forget what a gift we have been given.

You probably won’t ever remember this, but every night, after I put you to bed and once you have fallen asleep, I kiss your forehead and say “I love you.” I pray for you constantly. I pray that you will know God and that you will know His love. I pray that you can become everything you set out to be. But mostly, I say “Thank you” not just to God, but to Daddy - for I had no idea just how much you would mean to me.

Your Daddy and I love you with all our hearts,

Mommy

 

Heidi Elizabeth Foster

Right now - she is sleeping. Actually, she's been doing a lot of that lately. But whether she is sleeping, eating, playing or snuggling, my daughter Heidi Elizabeth Foster is the most precious, beautiful little thing I have ever seen. My husband Tim and I have been more than blessed to have this little angel in our lives.

Just yesterday, Tim and I were discussing how the last three years have brought so many changes and blessings. In 2008, we got engaged in China. In 2009, we were married in Switzerland and now, in 2010, we have started on the amazing journey of parenthood.

Heidi's birth was such a big event for me. I have to admit that even though I had taken a six week course, done my EPI-NO exercises and had read as many books as I could get my hands on, I was still a bit apprehensive about how it was going to go.

Friday, March 5th, Tim and I went to the doctor around 11:00am for my final check-up. At the appointment, our doctor told us that he didn't think the baby would come before the weekend. After the appointment, Tim and I grabbed a burger lunch at the California Grill. Tim went on to work and I jumped on my bike to go and see my friend Gill.

When I arrived at Gill's flat, I got off my bike and felt a gush of water down my legs - to be honest, I thought I had just been unable to hold my pee back (being 9 months pregnant puts a lot of pressure on your bladder). I decided that I should probably just go home, so I hopped back on my bike and rode home. The same thing happened when I got to my flat. I started to think that maybe my water had broken. I decided to wait it out - and in the meantime - I was grading English papers that students in my class had written.

Tim had to work late and I had a work social function that I had to go to, so I got dressed up and made my way over to Gracie Kelly's Pub. I had been told by my friend Chanda that I should drink a Prosecco right around my due date to get the ball rolling. So, having promptly ordered my baby-come-sooner-bubbly, I sat down to discuss life with my colleagues. After I finished my drink I stood up - and - guess what happened? Another huge gush, but this time it didn't stop!! My jeans looked like someone had put a fire hose to them!

I quickly snuck  (or sneaked if you're an English freak) out of the bar and, texting my husband to say that I thought my water had broken, rushed home as fast as my little legs could carry me. When Tim got home, we had dinner and discussed whether or not we needed to go to the hospital. I wasn't having any contractions, but Tim had read that if your water breaks, you need to go to the hospital within 24 hours so that you don't risk getting an infection. I'm so glad my husband remembers this stuff!

We called the hospital and they asked us to come that night, so after finishing a cup of tea and calling our parents, our friend Markus came and picked us up to take us to the hospital. We ended up sleeping at the hospital over night, while the midwives monitored my contractions. Throughout the night I was having 7 minute contractions, but nothing too intense.

By 10am the next morning, our doctor decided that because of the risk of infection, we needed to induce. Inducing means that they force the contractions and it can be more painful than natural contractions. I was able to go about 7 hours before I needed some pain medicine. Basically, until about 5pm, I was very strong mentally, even though the contractions were strong, I was able to do my breathing and Tim was very helpful in pressing against my back during the contractions to alleviate the pain.

With the help of the pain meds through a drip, I was able to go from not believing I could deliver to being able to handle the situation again. Things seemed to be progressing until about 7pm when the doctor said that my cervix was closing back up. It had dilated to 8cm, but was now back to 5cm. Without an epidural, he said, I would risk having a C-section if my cervix didn't open up soon.

Although Tim and I didn't want to do an epidural, we knew that it was probably the only option. And, in the end, the epidural was amazing! I ended up taking a nap, to regain some strength. The great thing about the Epidural was that again, I could feel the contractions, but I could handle the pain and I could stay positive and relaxed.

The most exciting part about the birth was the pushing. It was the realization that my baby was about to be in the world. Even though I had no pain, I could feel the baby moving forward with every push. The doctor had me feel the baby's head with my fingers. It was so surreal! Then the doctor said that we were only about three or four contractions away. It was insane feeling the baby come out, first the head, then the shoulders, then the rest of it's body.

As soon as I heard the cry, I looked at Tim, "What is it? What is it??" He laughed and said, "Hold on, I can't tell!!" and then someone said, "It's a girl!" The next thing out of my mouth was, "Wow, that was so worth it!"

And, it has been sooo worth it. I had no idea how much I would enjoy motherhood. We are now on day 19 and I couldn't be happier or more thankful to God for my precious baby girl. I'm so lucky.

You can see more pictures on my facebook page or videos by going to my youtube.com channel. 

The Big 3-0

When I was 8, I wanted to be 10. When I was 11, I wanted to be 13. When I was 14, I wanted to be 16 and when I was 19, I wanted to be 21. Fondly enough, I never remember once in my 20s, wishing that I was 30.

But... here I am, not only 30 years old - but married and pregnant! Ha, if my 20 year-old self could see me now!

To be honest, I think there is something very sexy and sophisticated about young mothers in their 30s. They seem to have things together, they may not know exactly what tomorrow brings, but they know who they are.

I know who I am - even though I've got a new name and a baby growing inside me. I know that I have been blessed beyond measure with an amazing husband and supportive friends and family. I know that God has always looked out for me and has made sure that even when things are tough, I know He's got my back.

And, I know for the first time that I want to be my age. I don't wish I could turn back the clocks and repeat those years - they were hard enough - I'll gladly leave them behind. I guess the best thing about turning 30, is actually wanting to be 30.

To teach or not to teach

Having promptly missed writing in June (for good reason, I might add), July somehow almost slipped under the radar. It has been an exciting couple of months here in Switzerland. After Tim and I got back from our honeymoon, I went into full job search mode.

It might surprise you to know that recently even Switzerland has been hit by the global downturn, making jobs for non-fluent German speakers, such as myself, nearly impossible to get. So, I've resorted to a back-up plan, which at the moment seems to be the plan - I've enrolled in a CELTA course in Oxford to learn to teach English as a foreign language.

A month from tomorrow, I'm off to Oxford to start my new career path, unless of course, some surprise wonder job pops up between now and then. I'm excited about the course, not just because I will be able to spend some time surrounded by English speakers, not just because I get to explore the beautiful city of Oxford, but because I will get a chance to look into something that I've always considered doing, teaching.

When I was a kid, my career ambition was to be an art teacher, that changed eventually to being a missionary and then somewhere along the line it turned into Olympian, then wife and mother, then Politician. Oddly enough, the older I get, the idea of becoming a Politician is fading slowly away. My husband thinks I'm too nice, I'm fairly certain that isn't true - personally, I think my missing political ingredient is spine, i.e. how bad I am at stating my case in a heated argument (basically I cry).

Teacher, in one form or another, was on the list and now it is back on... we'll see if "Olympian" ever comes of age. According to the 10,000 hour rule, I still haven't shot enough arrows to warrant quitting. Being a wife and someday a mother are very exciting things, having a happy marriage and home are certainly lifetime goals of mine which, quite frankly, are more important than any other task God has given me to date.

Wedding Countdown

It seems that just yesterday my wedding was over 190 days away. Now it is right around the corner, in only 34 days I will officially be Mrs. Foster. I have no doubt that I have overdone the facebook messages letting people know how excited I am about marrying Tim, but I feel so lucky to have the love of my life for the rest of my life!

Wedding-wise, everything seems to be falling into place. Tim and I finalized the dinner menu yesterday and decided on a wedding cake. We now have the photographer and the organist booked. There is even a transport surprise for all our guests!

I won't tell you which dress I am wearing from Elsa Gary, but I'm taking a train to Paris to pick it up in just four short weeks with one of my bridesmaids, Simone Gignoux.

For a long time Tim and I were debating whether or not to have flower girls (I kid you not when I say that the aisle is very long - the church is meant to hold 900 people!), but decided in the end that we had to have them in the wedding! The dresses are adorable, I've never seen anything like them in my life.

As for archery, I'm still building up my strength, but my recovery is complete in my opinion. I don't feel any pain when I shoot anymore. In March, I shot at the Swiss Indoor Championships and qualified 2nd. Unfortunately, I had a disqualified arrow which prevented me from qualifying first. Despite not being able to shoot in the Olympic Round because I'm not part of a Swiss club yet, I'm happy that I was able to compete again and shoot well.

My next tournament is in three weeks in Switzerland, I was going to try and shoot in Bulgaria but I still have a lot of work to do to be internationally competitive. Now that I've recovered, my focus isn't about just getting back to where I was, but pushing myself to a new level.

Anyhow, thanks for reading my post, the next time I write, I will most likely be a married woman!

Enjoying life in the midst of the worst economy of our generation

At 5:00am on Thursday, February 19th, the blast of a canon startled me awake. A second canon boom lured me away from my warm bed to my kitchen window only to see what looked like a Texas long horn conducting a marching band on the cobbled street below.

This would be one of almost 100 "Fasnacht" bands that would continue to play on the streets of the Old Town in Luzern for the next week - ceasing only Friday night and Sunday night. Although, I was exhausted at the end of the week - it is really hard to sleep soundly when drums are banging away below your window all night long - the energy I got from the new experience was incredible.

So often in life, we live day in and day out not realizing what is going on in other parts of the world. The experience of Fasnacht reminded me that this world is just as full of wonderful experiences as it is of terrible ones.

Right now, millions of people are experiencing exponential personal debt, they are losing their homes and jobs. The stress is causing the break up of families and a strain on personal health.

When I struggled financially four years ago, I didn't want to tell anyone and I didn't want any help. Then one Sunday in church, I heard about Crown's Biblical Financial study and I decided that it wouldn't hurt to try. The 10-week Bible intensive study opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at money - not as my money, but as God's money.

If you, like me four years ago, are struggling to appreciate life right now because of the immense financial burdens of this collapsed economy, find out if a church near you is putting on a Crown study and sign up. It is just one way of getting back to enjoying life in the worst economy of our generation.

Find Crown in your area

Get the "Your Money Map" book from Crown

Read a sample and get the "Your Money Map" book from Amazon

Tribute to Bob Towne

Last Thursday night, with a heavy heart and tears welling in my eyes, I made a phone call to a dear friend’s mom. “Just tell him that I love him and tell him how much I appreciate everything he has done for me.” I told her how much he had believed in me when others hadn’t and how he took time off of work to coach me in the build up to the 2008 Olympic Trials and then at the trials themselves.

The very next evening Bob Towne died. Bob, also fondly known to the Olympic Training Center athletes as “the babysitter,” had a rare form of cancer that killed his body and took his life in just five short months. I first met Bob when Coach Lee asked him to “babysit” the archers at the OTC while Coach Lee was out of town.

Bob had a very relaxed style of coaching and his love of the sport and the athletes made his babysitting stints very enjoyable for us. Eventually Bob started coming down to the range on a regular basis; he started building us custom finger tabs and was constantly trying to learn more about the BEST technique.

When he wasn’t at the Training Center, he was transferring all of his newly found knowledge to a group of young athletes whom he was mentoring. One of his pupils Anna, a very ambitious and happy eight year old, won every tournament she entered last year.

In 2007, when I was asked to shoot three personal bests in order to stay at the training center, it was Bob who stood by me and told me that I could do it when I was on the brink of throwing in the towel. If he ever doubted me, he never said so and when I did hit the numbers, he was the person I was the most excited to tell.

Eventually, I was asked to leave the training center despite hitting my personal bests. When others had given up on me, Bob agreed to help. We spent three days a week together and his unconditional encouragement despite all the obstacles I was facing was refreshing.

At the end of my phone call with Bob’s mom, she said with a crack in her voice, “When you win that medal, I hope you do it for Bob.” “Without question” I answered. Additional information about Bob on US Archery's site.

'Tis the season

In my 29 years on this earth, I have only spent a handful of Christmases away from Colorado. This year will be my third international Christmas.

1995 - I'm the King!

In 1995, I celebrated Christmas Eve, French-style in Nantes, eating a "Galette Du Roi" cake with little figurines in it and dancing "La Britanique" until midnight when we opened our presents. In 2006, I went to Italy with my mom and attended midnight mass at St. Peter's Basilica following a wonderful Christmas dinner (with live Opera) and a couple ridiculously expensive Limoncellos at the Hassler Hotel at the top of the Spanish steps in Rome.

2006 - St. Peter's Basilica Midnight Mass (View Pics)

This year I'll share Christmas between Switzerland and England. I've throughly enjoyed the traditions associated with Christmas here in Luzern - brass quartets and alp horns, holiday markets, the Klausjagen procession with St. Nicholas, the Schmutzli and the men with cow bells (click here to see a video). In London, I'll take another stroll down Oxford Street and Regent Street to see the lights and if I'm lucky, I'll sneak into midnight mass at St. Paul's Cathedral after a Christmas Eve dinner with close friends.

2008 - My nose blackened by the Schmutzli (View Pics)

But of course, the core of Christmas is truly only about one thing... the birth of Jesus Christ and He was truly only about one thing... dying on the cross to save us. So in spite of all of these traditions, presents and time with family, I will try and remember to take time to be grateful that my sins (many that they are) have been forgiven.

And in doing so I hope that I will remember to keep those less fortunate in my prayers... orphaned children in Sudan, families all over the world that have been left homeless and/or jobless in the wake of the financial crises, those who have lost a loved one this year and will experience their first Christmas without them, the list goes on and on.

That being said, it is with my most heartfelt sincerity that I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and if you are struggling this year as so many are and would like me to pray for you in any way, don't hesitate to email me.

Life Changes...

As it has been a while since I've updated my website or input any blogs, I thought I would use a lazy Saturday morning to get caught up. Life has changed quite a bit for me in the past few months... I got engaged, moved to Switzerland and will start a new job in a week.

Tim and I the night we got engaged (more pics)

My fiance, Tim, proposed at the Beijing Olympics in a paddle boat on Lake HouHai on August 18th. It was a bit of a surprise since besides a 10 month stint of dating in England back in 2001, we hadn't seen or spoken with each other in 7 years until China. Tim was at the Olympics as the head rowing coach for Switzerland and I was there covering Archery for the Olympic News Service.

Among other things, the Olympic spirit runs in our veins... before coaching, Tim was a three time Olympian for Great Britain, winning Gold at the Sydney Olympics and Bronze at the Atlanta Olympics. 

After the Olympics, I returned to California and packed up my stuff, visited my family in Colorado for a couple days, met my nephew (who was 3 months old at the time), and then moved to Luzern, Switzerland. Luzern is absolutely beautiful and I've enjoyed living in Europe again (I lived in France 1995-96 and England 2000-01). 

Luzern, Switzerland (more pics)

The adjustment has been major but I am very blessed to have found a job which starts in Zurich next week. For the past 8 weeks as I've been waiting for my work visa to come through, I've been taking German courses und jetzt - ich kann ein bisschen Deutsch sprechen. 

As for archery... I have been meaning to start shooting for some months now but my equipment has literally been sitting on a boat crossing the ocean. Overall it has probably been a good thing that I haven't been shooting - for starters, I needed to let the tear in my teres minor fully heal which I wasn't able to do last year and secondly, I needed to enjoy it again. 

I have however, been preparing myself physically for the World Indoor Trials in Iowa in January. Tim wrote a training program to build up my strength and fitness which I have been following for about 7 weeks now. I've been cross-training with the erg (indoor rowing machine) and my scores have been steadily getting better week by week. I may even row at the Swiss Indoor Championships in January if I feel like I can get close to my personal best.

Well... that is all for now! Hope you have a great day! To see more pictures check out my website.

Rock ’n’ Roll Marathon - Yay, I finished!

First, I want to thank all the people who helped me raise money for Team Darfur. I don't know the final number but I'm pretty sure that we hit the $2000 goal. Second... my legs hurt soooo bad! But however bad my legs feel, all 5 hours and 20 minutes of running was worth it!

This was the second marathon that I ran (also the second that I was dumb enough to run without training). In 2003, I ran the Boston Marathon in just under 5 hours (4:59). Marathons are challenging and make you push yourself to the limit. Something that surprised me was just how many people ran the marathon. There were all body types and ages.

The highlight of my run (besides seeing all the "Elvi"), was when Jon showed up at mile 20 and ran the last 6 miles with me. I was really happy to see him and he helped me push through the hardest part of the race. One of the other touching parts of the race was how many people were running for someone else. There were people running with pictures of their loved ones on their backs. It felt good to know that I too was running for someone, the children of Darfur.

Rock ’n’ Roll Marathon & other stuff...

Last week I sent out a new enewsletter with pictures from the photo shoot as well information on my plans to run the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon to raise money for Team Darfur. I've decided to use some of the money I made from the Polo Ralph Lauren Photo Shoot to match all donations going into Team Darfur up to $1000 through June 1st (the day of the marathon). So... that means, if you donate $10, I'll give $10, for a total donation of $20. Or, if you can give $50, I'll match it and make it $100. Please consider becoming a "fan" of Team Darfur. The money raised will go to help schools in Sudan.

Press Release on Team Darfur's website: http://www.teamdarfur.org/node/336

Other happenings... I went to the McCain rally yesterday in Stockton at the AG Spanos Jet Center yesterday. I'm so thankful the Spanos' for letting me join them on this trip! I met Senator McCain and got to hear him speak about his time in Vietnam and on the campaign trail. While I was waiting to go to the rally, I also got to meet Norv Turner, the head coach of the Chargers. He has a really great outlook on football and life and it was a privilege to get to talk to him.

I'm still undecided about McCain and Obama. Obama inspires me and McCain has a huge heart for the men and women who protect this country. I guess the key is that eventually I decide who I want to vote for... not voting isn't really an option!

Apart from training for the marathon, working and trying to educate myself about the presidential race, I'm enjoying the beach and I've actually shot a few arrows. I hope you have a great memorial day weekend!

Polo Ralph Lauren Photo Shoot

I have 8 minutes until I have to catch a car that is going to take me to the airport so I can go home to San Diego. I had a blast in New York city. I'm so thankful to the Polo Ralph Lauren crew and Shawn Frack from the USOC for putting it all together.

There were three other athletes for the shoot, Brianna Glenn (athletics), Giuseppe Lanzone (rowing) and Deontay Wilder. We had a blast... Giuseppe even got to be on the Today show this morning (we went as his posse).

I'll write more later, but pictures are up on my facebook page and also at: http://www.pixagogo.com/5702924365.

Budweiser Youtube & 10 year high school reunion

Right now I'm back in Boston (I was here a few weeks ago for the national championships) and fortunately as of yet, there have been no rental car accidents (my rental car was totaled on my last trip as I was driving to the tournament). Last night, I hung out with a couple of my buddies from college. We had a great time hanging catching up.

One of the things that we talked about was my youtube videos for Bud (www.youtube.com/jfahrenkrog). I shot the videos after the first trials when I was in North Dakota promoting the 4H shooting sports program. My buddies were so excited about them and wanted to know if I really did shoot the one can on a single shot... the truth is that I did! That is why I was so excited about it. The Bud guys basically gave me 7 or 8 shots at 70 meters at a practice can to sight in (with NO warm up... usually I shoot 40-50 arrows warm up) and then they had me pull my arrows and put up a second can for the real deal.

They told me to look at the camera and say "One shot, one arrow, no problem" and then actually do it. A dream I always wanted to accomplish in archery was being in the gold medal finals against the Koreans and being the anchor shooter (the last person to shoot) and needing to shoot a 10 to win on the last arrow. In my visualization, I always nailed it... so when they asked me to do this, that is what my mind immediately went to and then I just took a deep breath and thought about my technique and shot. IT WAS SOOO COOL because the arrow nailed the can at that moment. Even though it wasn't in the gold medal final against the Koreans it was a lot of fun.

Anyhow, enough about that... the rest of this weekend is going to be great... I'm going to my 10th year high school reunion, something that I couldn't have done if I'd made the finals of the Olympic trials (given the choice, I'd probably still pick the finals... but there is always a reason!). So, I'll be out here with all my old friends, catching up and sharing fun stories. Ironically, a couple of my classmates won't be there because they are still trying out for their respective Olympic teams (one in mountain biking and one in rowing).

I'm waiting to hear back but I may have a chance to be on the Today show next week for Polo Ralph Lauren... I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I also wanted to keep you up to date about the book I'm reading about Darfur. If you get a chance, please sign up to be a Team Darfur fan (or part of the team if you are an athlete) at www.teamdarfur.com. The book, "Not on our Watch" is an incredible insight into the background of the Darfur genocide. It gives two distinct perspectives, one from a life long advocate for Africa and one from a famous movie star.

From what I have read, it seems that the situation in Darfur is extremely complicated. The perspective that the book takes is that Sudan's government is behind the killings but is trying to make it out to look as though it is tribal civil war based on limited resources and opposing religious beliefs. I still have a lot to learn and I would encourage you to learn more as well.

I also watched a documentary called "The Devil Came on Horseback." It was incredibly graphic so I would recommend not watching it with your kids. The documentary highlighted just how much red tape is involved in trying to make a change. The guy behind the documentary talked about how he would write reports on violations that were being made but only 8 of the 40 or so he wrote ever went anywhere and nothing was done about the ones that did get turned in. The documentary argued that other countries were aiding Sudan's government by providing the ability to purchase weapons from profits made in the sale of oil.

On that note, please keep Darfur in your prayers. Please sign up to be a fan and spread the word.

What next? Surfing & Sudan

Many people have been emailing and calling the past few days with words of support and love. I am so thankful that other people care so much about what I am doing. Ironically, one of the emails I got from a very dear friend of mine pointed out something that is becoming clearer as the fog from the past week is starting to burn off.

Most people who know me well, know that there was only one reason I got into archery and that was to go to the Olympics. It is fair to say, that I have loved the pursuit of the Olympics and the purpose that my life felt in that pursuit more than the actual sport of archery itself. When I realized that rowing, a sport that I loved, wasn’t going to be my vehicle to the games, I tried to find another one. Unfortunately in that transfer, I left behind the key ingredient to success, the love of the sport.

Immediately after I broke my bow down on Friday following the conclusion of the Olympic Trials, I was on the web looking into other Olympic sports that I could still try and pick up... 10m air pistol, some kind of track and field event, anything... and then I stopped. I thought, "Holy crap," immediately it hit me, it didn’t matter if I switched sports, if I didn’t love what I was doing, it would never work. Archery, unfortunately for me, was just a means to an end and that is why it didn’t work.

So, what next? Well, I guess the first thing to do is try and figure out what I love to do, try different things, leave archery for awhile and see if I miss it. Two of my closest friends, independently of each other told me write out a list of things I wanted to do and try in my life. The past 5 years, everything has been on hold. I’ve missed weddings, graduations, vacations, skiing, rowing, etc.

I decided to do something completely out of character, I went surfing. I have never surfed in my life... in fact, to be honest, I’ve never really liked salt water and the way it gets in your mouth and eyes. But, I decided that I would try it and signed myself up for Surf Diva school (www.surfdiva.com). It rocked! Wearing a wet suit made all the difference in the world as far as me not being bothered by the salt water. I actually got up on my very first try! It was so cool, the water moves so quickly under you. For two straight hours on both Saturday and Sunday, I smiled non stop - even when I wiped out!

I also started working full time... now to be honest, I was working 40-60 hour weeks before but it was over 7 days not 5. It was strange to be sitting in my office realizing that I was there for the next 8 hours. What normally took me a whole week to do, I was able to get done in two days. I actually had to pace myself and take required state law breaks!

Despite the surfing and working and even trying outrigger canoe, a piece of the puzzle is still missing. The purpose that I felt in training for the Olympics is now void. I need to fill it with something... but this time, maybe not a personal quest so much as contributing to make the world a better place. That is where Sudan comes into play.

A while back, Joey Cheek, a three time Olympic medalist in speed skating, emailed me and asked me to be a part of Team Darfur (www.teamdarfur.org). I’m so impressed with what Joey has done with his fame, he has a true heart for making a difference in the world. The same day that I was knocked out of the Olympic trials, I received a packet with a book called Not on Our Watch: The Mission to End Genocide in Darfur and Beyond by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast.

As I’ve begun to read it, I feel convicted that this is something I can put time into and feel a sense of purpose again. In the coming weeks, I will share with you my thoughts on reading the book. I would encourage you to purchase it and read it along with me and have an open discussion with me by leaving comments in my blogs. One thing that the book has already taught me is that one of the most powerful things you can do to stop genocide is to stop turning a blind eye to it. I look forward to your thoughts on the issue!

Links:

What you can do: http://www.teamdarfur.org/takeaction

Purchase the book: http://www.amazon.com/Not-Our-Watch-Mission-Genocide/dp/1401303358/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1207819216&sr=8-1

Educate yourself: http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/04/08/google.refugees.ap/index.html

Olympic Trials Day 2 & 3 - Beijing Bound without a Bow...

I’ll be in China, just not the way that I pictured being there. The second and third day of the Olympic Trials didn’t exactly go the way that I had hoped or planned. In fact, in my five year archery career, I have never shot with such an out of body experience as I did during this tournament. It was as though my mind was in one place (the right place) and my body was in another (on Mars).

I thought all the right things; I didn’t react to bad shots. I kept a smile on my face and I even laughed off a couple of misses. Outwardly and inwardly, I did my best to show and feel that I wasn’t upset about how miserably this tournament was going down.

The one light at the end of the tunnel for me was that on the second day of the trials, I received an email saying that I had been hired by Infostrada Sports to work as a reporter during the Olympic Games in Beijing. As many of you know, I love the Olympics and that is why I did archery in the first place. For most of the people who make the team this summer, that sentiment is the opposite, they love archery and the Olympics is just a bonus.

I don’t doubt that is one of the biggest lessons that I have learned from this whole experience. Ironically, when I asked my dad for career advice growing up, he would always say, "Find something you love and figure out how to make money doing it." So where does that leave me now? Well for starters, I’m going to hang up the bow for the rest of the summer and spend some time trying to figure out what my next move is.

Regardless of what I end up doing, if you are reading this, you have probably been praying for me and encouraging me and/or even donating money to me over the years. It is really important to me that you know just how much I appreciate all of the support! You have made a difference in my life and I am so thankful for it.

Olympic Trials Day 1

Success depends not on whether you win or lose, but on how you play the game. I always thought people who said that had never won anything. I don’t like losing and I don’t like shooting below my potential but than again, who does? I shot some really good arrows today. I had some magical shots that went straight from my bow into the 10 ring. At the same time, I found myself just a little too wound up to feel comfortable the whole day and it wasn’t until I put all my energy into calming down that I was able to start shooting well.

Despite finishing 15th in the qualification round, I only dropped from 7th to 9th due to the point carry over from the 1st Olympic trials. During match play, I struggled to get the shots off and lost my first two matches, 93 to 99 against Kendra Harvey and 88 to 99 against Nicole Rasor. In my third match though, I turned a corner and won my match against Karen Scovatto, 101 to 99. My last match was against Khatuna Lorig, I lost 99 to 107.

One thing that took me a while to realize was just how wound up I really was on the inside. I didn’t feel tense and I certainly wasn’t showing it, but it wasn’t until I told myself to get really calm that I actually started shooting well. I now have something to take into tomorrow that will be very helpful. I still have 11 matches until they make the top 8 cut, if I just do my best I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. No matter what I know God’s got my back, my best interests in mind. As it says in the Bible, if God is with you, who can be against you?

On the eve of the 2nd Olympic Trials...

19 days ago I sat down at my computer and wrote for six hours. As I wrote, my throat hurt and my head was pounding, my eyes were red and swollen from crying. For the first time in 5 years, I was prepared to admit failure and walk away from archery for good. The gist of the letter was that so long as I believed that I could make the Olympic team, I would continue to pursue it but that I had always promised myself the moment that I stopped believing would be the moment that I would stop shooting. To me, on that day, the moment had come, I was done.

Now, on the eve of the 2nd Olympic trials, I am thankful that I never sent that letter and that I’ve had some time to reflect on this journey. In many ways, my courtship with archery has been like that saying "it is better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all." There are a lot of things that I could have been doing the past four years that would have made me a lot more money or that would have given me a lot less heart ache, but I doubt that any of them would have challenged my character and my faith in God more than archery.

The irony is that while I’ve only been shooting archery for the past five years, it was on an archery field, nearly 15 years ago, that I first accepted Christ. My journal entry from June 22nd, 1993 reads: Today my counselor Kris and I went to the archery field during F.O.B. (flat on back)(rest period) and talked… we came down to one question, "What do you want to do now?" I answered, "Start all over." So I asked Him into my heart because I wanted to, not because someone told me to.

So, when I question archery, or when I feel as though I have failed, I am missing the bigger picture. I’m missing all the joy that having a real relationship with God has brought back into my life. I’m missing that feeling of true forgiveness and unconditional love that only Christ’s sacrifice can give me. Whether I make the Olympic team or not, I will always have a rock to build my house on that no one can take away from me.

My goal is to compete this week without fear of failure, without the need or desire to prove anything to anyone. My goal is to enjoy the blessings that God has given me, to be thankful to all those who have supported me and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. My hope is that if I can do this, I will succeed in God’s eyes, ultimately the only eyes that matter.

Vegas World Archery Festival 2008

I’ve shot enough tournaments to realize that performing well 100% of the time is nearly impossible. That being said, it never ceases to amaze me that knowledge of this fact fails to be comforting when those bad tournaments inevitably happen. If you’ve already seen my scores and placement from Vegas, you may have already guessed that the tournament did not exactly go the way I had hoped it would. Despite not shooting well, I gained some valuable friendships and managed to win $200 in the slot machines, so I can’t complain too much!

I’ve shot Vegas three times, the first time was back in 2004 where I placed 3rd. I didn’t shoot it in 2005 or 2006 because of all of my form changes but decided to shoot it again in 2007 where I finished 4th. This year, I finished 11th. Of the past three times that I have competed, this year was the toughest field by far. It included 6 of the top 7 girls from the most recent Olympic Trials, 3 of whom are past Olympians.

The beauty of failure, especially when it happens in spectacular form, is that it charges you up and forces you to rethink the way you are doing things. I have every right to sit back and blame the circumstances of the past few months for my performance but what good will come out of doing that? In life, when we are faced with a challenge, we can focus our energy on the past or change the future.

The very best indoor tournament that I’ve shot to date from start to finish was the 2005 World Indoor Team Trials. I set some personal goals and then I trained day in and day out for three months with those goals in mind. I accomplished those goals but came short of making the team by a few points. Had I shot those same scores in the 2003 or 2001 trials, I would have not only made the team, but won both trials.

Right now, the level of shooting in this country for women has never been tougher. Jenny Nichols is a 2004 Olympian and has qualified for every world team indoor and outdoor since 2003 that she has tried out for, not to mention the national titles she has won over those same years. Karen Scavotto has won so many national titles and records, she probably can’t count them anymore and was on the 2000 Olympic team. Khatuna Lorig is an Olympic bronze medalist and 3-time Olympian for the country of Georgia, she too has gone to numerous world championships and holds national titles. Lindsay Pian has been on both junior and senior worlds teams, she holds national titles and has won international medals. Kate Anderson is a national champion at both the collegiate and senior level, she has won medals internationally as well. Ashley Kamuf-First, Stephanie Miller, Phyllis Shipman, Mandy Nichols, and Kendra Harvey have all qualified and competed on teams that went to the world championships. Seven of these women have broken 1300 in a competition, something that has not happened in the history of the sport in this country.

I am honored to be a part of this group of elite women and realize that the stakes are higher now than they have ever been. Each one of these girls has failed from time to time, but one thing that we all have in common is that we have never quit. I told some of my friends back in 2004 that the 2008 Olympic team was going to be one of the hardest teams to make and that statement is proving to be true.

What does any of this have to do with Vegas? Nothing! That is the beauty of it all, Vegas has absolutely no bearing on the Olympic team, it is just a fantastic place to get the tournament season jitters out of the way and a wonderful chance to practice rebounding. The morning after I returned from Vegas I went grocery shopping. There were two cards on the card rack right at the entry of Trader Joe’s. One card said "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my boat," Louisa May Alcott. The other card said "Fall down seven times, get up eight." I don’t doubt that God had every intention for me to see those cards and learn a valuable lesson. I hope and pray that if you are going through a difficult time in your life or that if you have recently failed you too will get up again and keep moving forward.

Go Chargers & Injury Update

Hi Everyone!

It has been a while since I've written a blog so I wanted to make sure I didn't lose complete touch with everyone. I wanted to first say Go Chargers! I hope they win tomorrow (for those of you who know me as a major Pat's fan, just pretend like you didn't read that).

I'm really excited at how well the Chargers are doing. It has been fun watching them climb their way to the top. Many of you know that the Chargers hold a special place in my heart. One lesson that I think we can all learn from them is that if you keep working hard, eventually you will succeed. It has been 12 years (1995) since the Chargers went to the Super Bowl and tomorrow they will be knocking at the Super Bowl doors again!

As for me, I'm still recovering from an injury to my right shoulder. I haven't been very vocal about it, but I guess now I need the prayers and support to turn it around in time for the Olympic Trials in April. Back in July, I had some pain in my shoulder. I was getting up to four treatments a day and taking a ton of over the counter pain pills. Shooting through the Nationals was tough, but not nearly as tough as shooting through the Olympic Trials.

Anyhow, long story short. I thought it was just inflammation and so I took the month of October off thinking that I would be able to pick it back up again in November. I saw a couple of doctors and got a cortisone shot. Around the same time, I found out that I was no long a resident athlete so I had to find a job in addition to trying to figure out how to take care of my shoulder without sports medicine at the training center.

I landed a sweet job downtown working for Northwestern Mutual and I continue to work at my church running the coffee ministry. I officially began working 7 days a week November 1st and while I wanted to start my training back up again, my shoulder was continuing to bother me and the shot was starting to wear off. Dr. Lenihan had asked me to get an MRI but I held off due to the sheer cost (even with insurance, it costs around $900). Finally, I decided that I needed to get it done.

The MRI came back saying that there was a chance that my teres minor had a small tear in it. I called Troy Bassham, my mental coach and was in a little bit of a panic. There is no time to get a surgery (7 month minimum recovery) and I was afraid that this might be the end of my career. I'm such a competitive person that I almost quit because I thought "If I can't go to the trials at 100%, I don't want to go at all."

Troy encouraged me to get in touch with Dr. Rintala at the Del Mar Chiropractic Sports Group. I'm so thankful that he has offered to work with me. I drive about 45 minutes north 2-3 times a week for treatment. So far it seems to be working and I began shooting again a few weeks ago (after 3 1/2 months off!).

I'm definitely not at 100%, more like 60%, but it is coming together. My shoulder is hurting less, but is still not allowing me to shoot my normal volume or pulling weight. My plan is to be ready to shoot in Vegas in a month... get the competitive vibe kicked in and see where I am with my progress.

Hope you are well! My enewsletter will be coming out in about a week, so be sure to sign up on my website if you haven't already (www.joyofarchery.com).

Thanks!

Joy

Joy resumes training at the OTC - Merry Christmas!

Hi Everyone!

First off, Merry Christmas! My heart goes out to all of my close friends who have lost loved ones this year and this is their first Christmas without them. When my dad died 5 years ago, I remember how hard it was for me and I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family as you get through this first major holiday without them.

Secondly, I'd like to share the good news!! No doubt, thanks to all your prayers and support, I've now resumed shooting at the Olympic Training Center three days a week. Praise God! I'm very excited to have the opportunity to continue my training with Coach Lee and thankful for the help of some very key people who made it possible.

Have a blessed Christmas and I'll be speaking with you soon. If you would like to be added to my New Year's card list, please email me your address at joyfahrenkrog@yahoo.com. I'm going to be sending out a little surprise with it.

Love in Christ!

Joy