Vegas World Archery Festival 2008

I’ve shot enough tournaments to realize that performing well 100% of the time is nearly impossible. That being said, it never ceases to amaze me that knowledge of this fact fails to be comforting when those bad tournaments inevitably happen. If you’ve already seen my scores and placement from Vegas, you may have already guessed that the tournament did not exactly go the way I had hoped it would. Despite not shooting well, I gained some valuable friendships and managed to win $200 in the slot machines, so I can’t complain too much!

I’ve shot Vegas three times, the first time was back in 2004 where I placed 3rd. I didn’t shoot it in 2005 or 2006 because of all of my form changes but decided to shoot it again in 2007 where I finished 4th. This year, I finished 11th. Of the past three times that I have competed, this year was the toughest field by far. It included 6 of the top 7 girls from the most recent Olympic Trials, 3 of whom are past Olympians.

The beauty of failure, especially when it happens in spectacular form, is that it charges you up and forces you to rethink the way you are doing things. I have every right to sit back and blame the circumstances of the past few months for my performance but what good will come out of doing that? In life, when we are faced with a challenge, we can focus our energy on the past or change the future.

The very best indoor tournament that I’ve shot to date from start to finish was the 2005 World Indoor Team Trials. I set some personal goals and then I trained day in and day out for three months with those goals in mind. I accomplished those goals but came short of making the team by a few points. Had I shot those same scores in the 2003 or 2001 trials, I would have not only made the team, but won both trials.

Right now, the level of shooting in this country for women has never been tougher. Jenny Nichols is a 2004 Olympian and has qualified for every world team indoor and outdoor since 2003 that she has tried out for, not to mention the national titles she has won over those same years. Karen Scavotto has won so many national titles and records, she probably can’t count them anymore and was on the 2000 Olympic team. Khatuna Lorig is an Olympic bronze medalist and 3-time Olympian for the country of Georgia, she too has gone to numerous world championships and holds national titles. Lindsay Pian has been on both junior and senior worlds teams, she holds national titles and has won international medals. Kate Anderson is a national champion at both the collegiate and senior level, she has won medals internationally as well. Ashley Kamuf-First, Stephanie Miller, Phyllis Shipman, Mandy Nichols, and Kendra Harvey have all qualified and competed on teams that went to the world championships. Seven of these women have broken 1300 in a competition, something that has not happened in the history of the sport in this country.

I am honored to be a part of this group of elite women and realize that the stakes are higher now than they have ever been. Each one of these girls has failed from time to time, but one thing that we all have in common is that we have never quit. I told some of my friends back in 2004 that the 2008 Olympic team was going to be one of the hardest teams to make and that statement is proving to be true.

What does any of this have to do with Vegas? Nothing! That is the beauty of it all, Vegas has absolutely no bearing on the Olympic team, it is just a fantastic place to get the tournament season jitters out of the way and a wonderful chance to practice rebounding. The morning after I returned from Vegas I went grocery shopping. There were two cards on the card rack right at the entry of Trader Joe’s. One card said "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my boat," Louisa May Alcott. The other card said "Fall down seven times, get up eight." I don’t doubt that God had every intention for me to see those cards and learn a valuable lesson. I hope and pray that if you are going through a difficult time in your life or that if you have recently failed you too will get up again and keep moving forward.

Go Chargers & Injury Update

Hi Everyone!

It has been a while since I've written a blog so I wanted to make sure I didn't lose complete touch with everyone. I wanted to first say Go Chargers! I hope they win tomorrow (for those of you who know me as a major Pat's fan, just pretend like you didn't read that).

I'm really excited at how well the Chargers are doing. It has been fun watching them climb their way to the top. Many of you know that the Chargers hold a special place in my heart. One lesson that I think we can all learn from them is that if you keep working hard, eventually you will succeed. It has been 12 years (1995) since the Chargers went to the Super Bowl and tomorrow they will be knocking at the Super Bowl doors again!

As for me, I'm still recovering from an injury to my right shoulder. I haven't been very vocal about it, but I guess now I need the prayers and support to turn it around in time for the Olympic Trials in April. Back in July, I had some pain in my shoulder. I was getting up to four treatments a day and taking a ton of over the counter pain pills. Shooting through the Nationals was tough, but not nearly as tough as shooting through the Olympic Trials.

Anyhow, long story short. I thought it was just inflammation and so I took the month of October off thinking that I would be able to pick it back up again in November. I saw a couple of doctors and got a cortisone shot. Around the same time, I found out that I was no long a resident athlete so I had to find a job in addition to trying to figure out how to take care of my shoulder without sports medicine at the training center.

I landed a sweet job downtown working for Northwestern Mutual and I continue to work at my church running the coffee ministry. I officially began working 7 days a week November 1st and while I wanted to start my training back up again, my shoulder was continuing to bother me and the shot was starting to wear off. Dr. Lenihan had asked me to get an MRI but I held off due to the sheer cost (even with insurance, it costs around $900). Finally, I decided that I needed to get it done.

The MRI came back saying that there was a chance that my teres minor had a small tear in it. I called Troy Bassham, my mental coach and was in a little bit of a panic. There is no time to get a surgery (7 month minimum recovery) and I was afraid that this might be the end of my career. I'm such a competitive person that I almost quit because I thought "If I can't go to the trials at 100%, I don't want to go at all."

Troy encouraged me to get in touch with Dr. Rintala at the Del Mar Chiropractic Sports Group. I'm so thankful that he has offered to work with me. I drive about 45 minutes north 2-3 times a week for treatment. So far it seems to be working and I began shooting again a few weeks ago (after 3 1/2 months off!).

I'm definitely not at 100%, more like 60%, but it is coming together. My shoulder is hurting less, but is still not allowing me to shoot my normal volume or pulling weight. My plan is to be ready to shoot in Vegas in a month... get the competitive vibe kicked in and see where I am with my progress.

Hope you are well! My enewsletter will be coming out in about a week, so be sure to sign up on my website if you haven't already (www.joyofarchery.com).

Thanks!

Joy

Joy resumes training at the OTC - Merry Christmas!

Hi Everyone!

First off, Merry Christmas! My heart goes out to all of my close friends who have lost loved ones this year and this is their first Christmas without them. When my dad died 5 years ago, I remember how hard it was for me and I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family as you get through this first major holiday without them.

Secondly, I'd like to share the good news!! No doubt, thanks to all your prayers and support, I've now resumed shooting at the Olympic Training Center three days a week. Praise God! I'm very excited to have the opportunity to continue my training with Coach Lee and thankful for the help of some very key people who made it possible.

Have a blessed Christmas and I'll be speaking with you soon. If you would like to be added to my New Year's card list, please email me your address at joyfahrenkrog@yahoo.com. I'm going to be sending out a little surprise with it.

Love in Christ!

Joy

Tribute to Jack Aborn

In the past five years, I've befriended hundreds of people within the archery community throughout the country and across the globe: archers, judges, coaches, parents of archers and Olympians. If I had a top 5 list, Jack Aborn would have been on it. Jack was, hands down, one of my absolute favorite archery people.

I first met Jack at ArcheryUSA in Dedham, MA in December of 2002 when I showed up for my first day of training in my new sport. From day one he believed that I would make the Olympic team and when things got tough along the way, he always lifted my spirits. When I moved from Boston to Florida to Illinois to Arizona to California, we always kept in touch.

One of Jack's favorite things to do was send me blonde jokes. I think he always felt it was his duty to keep me laughing, he knew how serious I was when I was competing and training. After I didn't make the Olympic team in 2004, Jack stepped up the humor a notch and started sending me every blonde joke that came his way. So, in an effort to help everyone who is suffering from the loss of this amazingly compassionate man feel a little better, I'm including many of his jokes below for your pleasure.

I'm am so very sad that he is gone, but incredibly happy that he was in my life. I thank God so much for such an amazing friend and confidant. I love you Jack!! The final words I'll leave you with are from a recent email that Jack wrote me "Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile."

JACK'S BLONDE JOKES (and then some other jokes):

My personal Favorite:

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first
class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to
economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good
job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good
job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to
get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they
get the co-pilot.

The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear.
She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy
section.

The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get
her to move.

The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the
airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

SHE'S SO BLONDE THAT.....
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted
to makeup her mind.

SHE'S SO BLONDE THAT.....
When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened
around the home, she moved.

What do you call 9 blondes standing in a circle?
...A dope ring.

Son asked his mother the following question: "Mom, why are
wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows
your friends and relatives that your bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this
with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son,
all household appliances come in white."

Two blondes walk into a building,
You'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A. She missed.

A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road.

She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.

The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers...

Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives. The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer," says the woman calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" asks the officer.

"Helllllooooo, those are my emergency flashers!" she replied

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Q: Why are gingerbread men the best men of all?
A: They are cute. They are sweet. And if they give you any lip, you can bite their friggin' heads off.

Q Why do little girls whine?

A Because they're practicing to be women.

Hear about the blonde who...
* Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

* Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

What's the difference between a blonde and a parrot?
You can teach a parrot to say No.

Hear about the blonde who...

* When asked what the capital of California was, answered "C."

* Can't make KoolAid because eight cups of water won't fit into
one of those little packets.

Hear about the blonde who... Got hurt when she fell out of the tree while raking leaves.

Why are there no blonde ranchers?
They can't keep their calves together.

WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE?
Brown-bagging it.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES?
Invisible.

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY?
The invitation

KNOW WHO INVENTED BLONDE JOKES?
Brunettes, they had nothing better to do on Friday or Saturday nights

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

San Diego 211 - Firestorm 2007

Hi Everyone!

I am currently writing this blog with about 6 hours of solid sleep since midnight Wednesday morning. As you may have heard, the fires have been raging in California since Sunday, October 21st. There are tons of pictures on the web but I thought these were incredible: http://www.pixagogo.com/6706394206. These pictures are of the training center taken by Marlon Shirley and distributed by Diana Wright. They show just how close the flames came to the OTC.

As I mentioned on my website, even though I am no longer a part of the Olympic Training Center program, they were very good about accounting for all the whereabouts of the athletes and taking the proper precautions to get people out of the training center in time. Fortunately, the flames did not actually reach the training center and no physical losses were sustained. The air quality is still not good enough to train outdoors.

San Diego residents have been incredible in their responsiveness to the need for volunteers. As the cities news stations reported around the clock, thousands of donations and volunteers showed up to help aid those in need. One of the organizations who needed help was 211. 211 San Diego (www.211sandiego.org) is an information hotline for San Diego County. Before Firestorm 2007, people could dial 211 from their phones and they could ask questions about services offered in and around San Diego County. Overnight it became the hotline for people who needed to know if they were under mandatory evacuation and where they needed to go to get out of harms way.

Because of the mass numbers of evacuees, current reports are saying up to 1 million people were displaced by the fires, 211 needed volunteer reinforcements and so they hooked up with www.volunteersandiego.org to find volunteers to man the phone lines in the 211 headquarters. Qualcomm came in and gave 211 everything they needed, instantly hooking up over 50 new phone lines and some large screen tvs.

It turns out that one of the gals who attends my church is heavily involved with San Diego 211 and she was looking for volunteers. By 2:30pm, I was in the headquarters offering my services as a volunteer coordinator. For the next 6 and a half hours I sat on the phone (we had been given pay as you go cell phones) and started calling the hundreds of volunteers who had signed up on the web. It was INCREDIBLE! There were so many emails that the piles were a couple of feet high. Our goal was to have 50-70 people at the 211 headquarters around the clock, serving 4 hour shifts.

My number one goal was to fill out the volunteer slots for the midnight to 4am and 4am to 8am shifts. People were amazing. I think partially because most people weren't working and because they knew they were needed, hardly anyone said they couldn't do it. I decided that I too would come back at midnight to help out, if I was asking others to do it, why couldn't I?

So there I was at midnight, helping train and direct the new volunteers, many of whom, I'd spoken with on the phone earlier. The phones were ringing off the hook, we had all types of calls; People who were bed-ridden who needed to know what to do if they were evacuated, people in areas where they could see flames outside their kitchen window and needed to know where to go, Army commanders who needed to know what roads were closed so they could get truck loads of supplies to the local shelters. The phones rang off the hook all night, over 1,000 calls an hour. We did the best we could with limited information.

I stayed until 9am that morning, went home to get some sleep then returned again at midnight last night. Fortunately by midnight on Thursday, the phone calls had started to die off, meaning people who needed the information had it for the most part. However, at 7am the phones started going nuts when a press conference announced that 211 would have information on who could return home. I was so impressed with how many people wanted to help, how many people put themselves aside and focused on making a difference.

Please continue to pray for those who were displaced, who lost their homes, and those who are helping to restore order!

Joy

New season, new time - Joy is no longer a resident athlete

Ecclesiastes 3 A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

In the 1965, as the United States was about to enter a time of political unrest, the Byrds used this scripture as the basis for their number one billboard hit, "Turn! Turn! Turn! (to everything there is a season). In 2002, we placed Ecclesiastes 3:1 as the verse under a photo of my dad happily enjoying a ride on Italian wooden speed boat, his hair tussled by the Venetian wind, on the front of his memorial card.

Today, as I sit back and reflect on the past two years, as I try and understand what is happening around me, it is this verse that sticks out above all others. It hasn't been more than a few days since I received an email with the words "Dear Joy, Please see the attached letter in reference to the RA Program." Attached was the following letter:

Dear Joy,

This letter is sent to inform you of the direction and status of the 2008 archery Resident Athlete Program for the United States Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista, California.

The program is taking a new and dynamic approach to athlete training in preparation for the development of elite archers for the 2012 and 2016 Olympic Games. At this time, the upcoming program plan is well focused on the continuing development of a strong Women's team. In complying with this new direction, the resident athlete program will retain our two top women resident athletes. Additionally, the program will bring in elite junior athletes to fill the remaining program spots. We are fortunate to have such talented Olympians to lead this new team and even more fortunate that one of those individuals is an Olympic medalist. These two women will provide the leadership and set the necessary example for the new recruits to follow. Furthermore, our resident Olympians will act as mentors for these young athletes, providing the guidance, experience and additional motivation to help them grow into future Olympians. What is currently unknown territory to these budding athletes will quickly become a much easier transition with the help of two seasoned Olympic archers.

While moving forward in our new direction, we do wish to take this moment to commend you on the effort and progress you have made in the RA program under the teachings and guidance of Mr. Kisik Lee, considered by many to be the World's top archery coach. We feel you have learned a great deal through your experience in the RA program and can now forge ahead with the skills you have learned from Coach Lee. Coach Lee has left you with the ultimate tools to continue your elite training in a setting of your own choosing. Although you have progressed and continue to show steady improvement while in the RA program, your skill sets and scores are not yet to the level required to be internationally competitive. We feel strongly that if you continue to train diligently, compete on a regular basis and steadily refine your shooting technique; you will eventually develop the ability to post scores that will earn you a slot on future international teams. We also want to inform you that the High Performance team will always have an open door for you or any high level athlete to reapply to the Resident Athlete Program during those future dates when applications are being accepted.

Presently, the High Performance Team is attempting to work within the parameters and restrictions of limited bed space at the OTC. However, we fully understand the constraints that are placed on the Olympic Training Center and greatly appreciate what they are currently able to offer. As US athletes gear up to compete in the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, China, the pressure on the training center to meet those needs maximizes the capacity of the facility to adequately house those many athletes from a variety of sports. This fact sparked the inspiration to look further toward our future. We must develop our new Olympians now so that we may again dominate the world in Olympic Archery. One of the compelling reasons that have driven the decision to change directions in the RA program is the simple fact that since 1988, the US Women's Team has not won a single medal. The pendulum must again swing in our direction and therefore, the High Performance Team has chosen to follow a new plan and one that is considered to be a highly promising road to success. Success is vital to the growth of archery in the US and to obtain the much-needed funding opportunities provided by the USOC for medal winning sports.

We wish to thank you for your participation in the Resident Athlete Program for the sport of archery and wish you great success in all of your future archery endeavors.

Sincerely,

USA Archery High Performance Team:

Tom Parrish
Kisik Lee
Don Rabska

So where does that leave me now? I've known for a long time that I am an Olympian at heart, becoming one is in the very core of me. Although I have no status as a resident athlete, a resident athlete is not what defines me. No, I am defined by, and my identity is found in, Jesus Christ who has plans to "prosper me and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I rather like the verses that follow Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

God has put me in a situation where the only possible way to make it now is going to be through Him and in the end that may have been his very plan.

European Grand Prix in Sofia, Bulgaria

The Sponsors: I would like to give ample thanks to all the people who sponsored this trip. Without them, it would not have been possible for me to gain this valuable experience. Monetary donations from Eugene Manalo, John Kothanek, Eric Nevalainen, Stan Boyd, Joe Melchiorre, Francisco Lopez, Anson Tyau, Jason Hansen and Fred Julian allowed me to pay for my airfare from London to Sofia as well as pay for extra costs associated with the trip that weren’t covered by PSE. PSE (Precision Shooting Equipment – www.pse-archery.com) covered the hotel, food, registration and transportation to and from the airport while I was in Sofia. Dr. Ted Byrom (www.ted-byrom.com) generously donated 100,000 of his AA miles to cover my plane ticket from Phoenix to London. Again, if it weren’t for them this trip would have been impossible for me to go on as it would have easily cost over $2500. I feel very blessed to have so many people behind me!

The Scoop: During the qualification round, I shot a personal best at 70 meters of 302 in a FITA (note that a FITA is four distances 70m, 60m, 50m, and 30m - last year at Olympic trials I shot a 313 but we didn’t shoot any other distance, just 70 meters). At 50 meters I shot a 307 besting my 302 from the Gold Cup. My overall FITA of 1253 was also a personal best, improving on last years nationals where I shot a 1246. I was most proud of the fact that it was the first time that I broke 300 points at each distance. Being able to shoot my personal best at an international tournament has really boosted my confidence.

At the end of the first day I was ranked 35th and a good second day moved me up 6 spots to 29th. On the third day we shot individual elimination rounds. I struggled a little bit on my first end shooting a 46 to Japan’s Suga who shot a 48. On the second end, I lost more ground when I shot a 49 to Suga’s 53. I was down 6 points, 95 to 101. On the final end I continued to improve, shooting a 50, but Suga only faltered slightly shooting a 49 to win by 5 points, 149 to 145. I wasn’t too disappointed with my overall finish of 36th as it was my first outdoor international tournament, but I knew that I could have done better. My teammate Jenny finished the best of the three of us tied for 5th while her sister, Mandy finished slightly behind me in 40th place.

In part because of Jenny’s 3rd place ranking in the qualification round with a 1330 FITA, our PSE team was ranked 5th. Our first match was supposed to be against 12th ranked Serbia and Montenegro but for whatever reason they didn’t show up on the last day and we basically received a bye. Our quarterfinal match was against the British team, who in recent months, acquired the coach who helped Marco Galliazo win the individual gold medal in Athens. After the first 9 arrows we were up 3 points on them with Jenny shooting a perfect 30 (10,10,10). On the second end we shot a 76 and were down by one point to the Brits (153-154). The last end both teams shot the same score and the Brits retained their 1 point lead beating us 227-226. Despite our loss, I felt I shot well under the pressure with a 76/90 (25,26,25). They then moved on to the semi finals where they beat the Chinese putting them in contention for the Gold medal which they lost to the Ukrainians.

Day by Day Personal Journal:

Day 1: Sunday, July 3rd, 2005

As the alarm went off at 5am, I was already more than half awake. My bags, probably for the first time ever, were fully packed. Usually I’m really lazy about packing and it takes me forever, but given that this was an international tournament, it was important to me that I be on time. Last year coming home from Amsterdam I learned the hard way that international planes don’t wait on customers who take their time getting to the airport.

My friend Antony had agreed to drop me off at the shuttle stop as well as take care of my dog Cassie until she could get into the kennel after the 4th of July. Of course, I forgot to call and wake him up so when I showed up at 6:45am he was still in his pajamas. We still made it to the shuttle drop off on time though, in fact slightly early. The shuttle picked me up promptly at 7:15am and my first leg of my trip was in motion. A little over 90 minutes later we were pulling into Sky Harbor where I checked my bags in for the long haul to Sofia.

My first flight was from Phoenix to Chicago, once I arrived in Chicago, I had a short delay before getting on the flight to London Heathrow. By the time I landed in the UK, I had been in a moving object (shuttle or plane) for roughly 13 hours with a couple of layovers. However, the anticipation and excitement surrounding my trip to Sofia helped me relax and enjoy it.

Day 2: Monday, July 4th, 2005 – Independence day!

Jenny, Mandy and Alexander met me at Heathrow and after a short layover of about an hour we were on our way to Sofia. Despite being one of the eastern most European countries, Sofia was only 3 hours away from London. On the plane, I had befriended a local Bulgarian who insisted on helping carry my bags all the way to the baggage claim. When we finally did get to the baggage claim, I was happy to get my bags right away. Although I have only lost my bags once while flying, you never know when it is going to happen.

Just two years ago, Magnus Peterson (aka the “Korean-eater” since he beat two Koreans on his way to the bronze medal match in the Sydney Olympics) lost his bow on the way to the Vegas World Indoor Festival and he had to put together an ad hoc bow made up of parts from several different people’s back ups. Although he shot well, he lost a lot of ground against everyone else until his equipment arrived. Unfortunately for Jenny and Mandy, it seemed as though they might be sharing the same fate as Magnus. Double unfortunate for them was that I didn’t bring a back up bow, jokingly, I suggested that we could all share mine. Needless to say, even though they were disappointed that they missed practice, we were all relieved when their bows showed up the next evening.

One last note about the fourth was that we were still able to enjoy fireworks. Jenny and Mandy came up to my room for a team meeting and while we were talking we started to hear these fireworks. It was a great moment, knowing that we were half way around the world able to still partake a little bit in our countries 4th of July celebrations.

Day 4: Wednesday, July 7th, 2005 - The Short Distances

I woke up tired this morning despite trying to go to bed a little earlier then the night before. For whatever reason, it took me a lot longer to fall asleep last night then the other nights, I guess I had a lot on my mind. Tuesday had gone well but it didn’t show my true potential and I felt some pressure to do well today.

I met Jenny, Mandy and Alexander for breakfast. Despite being there right at 7:30am, there was barely any food left. I think the hotel restaurant was a little under prepared for hungry archers as it seemed that every meal they were just short of the right amount of food every time the last few people got through the line. However, this morning I was one of the lucky ones, and I managed to scrape up all of the remaining eggs and three pieces of toast.

After breakfast, Jenny and Mandy went to get their stuff and I proceeded to put my bow case and extra bag on the bus. I’ve also learned that it is good to be one of the first on the bus, well that is if you would prefer to have a seat. Some of the teams are so large that they don’t really care if you have stuff on a seat saving it, they’ll just sit right down on it as was the case with the Chinese yesterday morning.

The bus ride is a quick 15 minutes, this morning we decided to sit in the front seat, which was most likely a mistake as Jenny almost had my breakfast all over her lap. The driving in Bulgaria leaves much to be desired, with no official lanes and aggressive drivers, it can often be a recipe for potential disaster. Nonetheless, we made it there in one piece and we made our way to the range for the start of the short distances.

The sky was dark, but the rain seemed to be holding off. Every once in a while I would feel a light rain drop, but it didn’t seem to want to accumulate to anything. As we did yesterday, the team decided to warm up on the practice field shooting blank bale for the first 3 rounds. I felt pretty good but despite shooting blank bale, I still didn’t feel like I was where I would like to be. I decided to shoot a couple of rounds at 50 to get a little bit more comfortable.

On my first few practice ends I was really trying hard to stay in control, it felt a lot like the National Indoor Championships when I got 5th… but it was without a doubt too stiff and I knew that it wasn’t the type of form that I shot a 325 in practice with. I was also struggling with my release and whether I wanted to keep it tight against my face as Vic had taught me over a year ago or whether I wanted to have it come back the way Alexander wanted it. I know I should be doing the latter, but I’d been having some trouble with it and the old way can sometimes feel like a mini security blanket. Eventually though, just as children have to shed their first “binki,” I too will have to release” my old release.

We made our way back to the official range saying hi to a couple of stray dogs along the way. Apparently, as it was in Athens, there are several stray dogs around Sofia and as in Athens, they are simply tolerated. My focus shifted back to the task at hand, I was still undecided about how I was going to approach today… which release was I going to shoot? Was I going to allow myself to be a little edgy? By the time we got to the official range, the practice whistle had blown. When I made my way to the line, I felt really comfortable. In fact in general, I’ve felt really comfortable about my shooting but it seems that there is a shift in how I feel in the practice to how I feel when I’m about to score.

I know that I don’t want to focus on score and that I just want to shoot, but it seems that that never really happens. Part of me thinks that eventually I’ll get to the point where I’ve done it so many times that I don’t even think about it. In fact today, I was doing pretty well with watching the score cards to make sure that it was accurate, but then being able to forget about my actual score when I was back on the line… well at least until the very end.

So, the first end was the start of a possible disaster. As usual, I really didn’t have any obvious nerves (i.e. butterflies, etc) but my muscles seemed to want to tighten up. I decided that it was important for me to remind myself to remain calm no matter what. I made a conscious decision to shoot extremely controlled on the first three arrows as it had worked on the practice range. I shot the first arrow, 8. I thought, ok, not so bad, then I shot the second arrow, 7.

At this point, even though I knew that I didn’t want to think this way, my brain was stuck on wanting to shot a 10 to even it up to a 25. My goal at the Gold Cup was to shoot every end 25 or better because that would guarantee me a 300+ finish. Last night, I had decided that if I could pick up 2-3 points on every 2 ends, I would be in a good position to shoot a 312-318 which would push me into second place for the Americans. The only thing is, I am not supposed to think about score… ever! It is the one thing that holds me back and I’m not really sure why I even let myself entertain the idea.

I’m sure you can see where this is going… my third arrow was a 6. Bam, 21. Nothing like dropping 4 points on the first end. When that happens, your brain starts running 100 miles an hour and trying to figure out how to calm down becomes your number one priority. When I came off the line I gave Alexander this look like “I know you’re pissed, I am too.” But what I said was, “I don’t know what happened, I’m having some problems with my eyes, you know that stigmatism, it is acting up again.” Which was partly true, but what was truer was that I was on the brink of getting my butt handed to me if I didn’t make some kind of change soon.

I was so mad at myself, I knew that I could turn it around, but the question was how quickly and would it last. I am always dreaming about the day that I can just stand up and shoot without having to think about it… that day when I am so calm and so collected that shooting is simple and easy, seamless and strong. I’ve often had this dream about shooting the last arrow at a tournament (a big one too… like the Olympics) and I need a 10 to win. I shoot the arrow and it just makes its way smack dab in the middle. I drop to my knees in amazement at this moment. The next shot is me on the podium, although it isn’t clear if I’m in first or somewhere else on the podium… but it doesn’t really matter to me because I value the precious moment when I know that my shot was perfect the second the arrow left my bow.

Of course that particular image didn’t appear right then, but I did manage to talk myself into changing back to the smooth and relaxed form versus the tense, over calculated form I was about to shoot. My next end was a 28, bringing my two end total to 49. Well… not where I wanted to be but not so bad, only being down 1 point on the first 2 ends wasn’t going to kill my score. Things picked up from there and I shot a solid 52, 52, 50, 53, and 51 finishing with a total of 307. Again not to my fullest potential, but a personal best by 5 points in a tournament. One more step in my personal ladder of confidence.

After 50 ended we decided to go to the practice range and get our sites for 30 meters. I shot 3 ends and each end I had 3 tens out of 6 of the arrows. I knew that if I consistently shot like that I would be able to pull off a 340 or so, but again, I was trying to let go of score and just focus on my form and my ability to stay calm. However, I’m still not at the point where I can just let it go. When we were done with practice, we made our way back to the official range.

As we got ready to shoot 30 meters for score, my whole body felt this wash of relief come over it. I was so glad to have made it through the toughest distances… and to know that for the first time ever, I’d broken 300 on each distance. I am slowly learning to take pleasure in the small things and not obsess over the short term but to remain focused on the long term.

At the end of the first end, I remember walking down to the target with Jenny and Mandy and I looked at Jenny and said, “Doesn’t it feel it feel great to shoot the first end at 30 meters?” Mandy looked back at me and said, “Yeah especially when you shoot a 30.” I smiled back and said, “Yeah that would be nice, I guess I’ll have to do it next end…” and as I said that I realized that I had in fact shot a 30. Which is great, except that again, it can be a pressure cooker, I had to really calm myself down for the second end. Of course the next 7 ends I managed to shoot 5 29s broken only by 2 28s somewhere in the middle.

Now the weather had held out quite well until about the 4th end and then with the crack of thunder and a flash of lightening, the heavens opened up and started pouring down on us. The water was so strong that the automatic timing system died, forcing us to shoot according the whistle rather then the buzzer. It got my nerves a little bit since I had no real concept of how much time I had left to shoot. Even when I had a clock, I still had one very close call in which I let an arrow go with only 1 second left on the clock. Fortunately for me it was an 8. The combination of the buzzer and the rain made it more difficult for me.

During the breaks in between each end I was using Jenny’s baby powder to keep my chin, equipment and hands from getting too wet. It seemed to work but as I started the last end I was surprised at where the arrows were going. All of the sudden with 4 arrows to go I couldn’t calmly hit the gold as I was doing before. For whatever reason, I happened to look at my finger tab only to see the shelf (the piece that rests under your chin) had shifted forward and down. Needless to say, it was quite frustrating because I wasn’t sure exactly where it was supposed to be and furthermore, even if I changed it back, I would need to make a sight adjustment to make sure it was in the right place.

I attempted to fix it and I was able to get it so it wasn’t perfect but it was better even if it didn’t reflect in my score. The next three ends cost me a lot of points, in part because the shelf on the tab moved, in part because I was very surprised (I don’t know why) as to how well I was doing and in part because it was raining. To qualify for USAT, I needed a 1260 and on the last four ends I dropped enough points to miss the 1260 by 7 when I could have easily made it and have finished ahead of Mandy who I came third to by 5 points.

Although I was happy that I shot a personal tournament best, I knew that I could have shot much better.

Day 5: Friday, July 9th, 2005 - Individual Eliminations

I apologize that I did not write a journal on this day... the summary is at the top of this page.

Day 6: Team Elimination

I stand firmly by the fact that when a team loses, it is not just because of one person – unless of course the other two people shot perfect scores and they lost b/c the third didn’t. I had a lot of hopes for a medal from this tournament, especially the team round. I felt mentally prepared and confident this morning when I woke up. I had done a lot of work mentally to make it come together and I was somewhat pleased with how I shot, but I knew I could shoot better – seems to be the theme of this tournament.

We got up around 8:30am and went down to breakfast, there wasn’t much conversation, in fact Jenny and Mandy didn’t come down until it was near time to go. It wasn’t that big of a deal since the night before though we had spent about a half an hour talking about how we felt about the nerves that tournaments give us. Jenny and Mandy said that they actually physically shook… I personally had not had that feeling, but after today was over, I definitely knew what they were talking about. It is funny, because I tend to not get extremely nervous, sometimes I feel like maybe I should be more nervous than I am because I am so calm. However, Alan (my sports psych) keeps telling me that it is more important to be really calm then to be nervous, so I guess I’m doing something right.

Our first match was supposed to be against Serbia and Montenegro however, they didn’t show up which was a shame because it would have been really good for all of us to get our nerves out and for me to build up my confidence. We shot for score anyway and I think that due to the lack of pressure I didn’t shoot my best. I had a lot of 7s and a blueberry. I had been really worried that I would shoot a 2 in competition before we came to Bulgaria, but luckily for me that thought didn’t even cross my mind when we were on the field.

I made it a point not to look at the British or to even look at their target. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but for me it keeps me focused on myself which is the number one ingredient to succeeding in a sporting event (in my opinion). The new UK coach, a Korean came up to me and shook my hand as well as Jenny and Mandy’s. I thought that was an interesting gesture. As they played the Gladiator 2 minute count down music, I reminded myself to stay calm and cool, loose and relaxed. Mandy shot her first shot and it was in the red, as I got up to shoot mine, I told myself to remain calm… I could see everything, I still can. I was very aware of what I was doing and how I was doing it. I believe I shot an 8 left. I adjusted my site and Jenny got on the line and shot a 10. Mandy shot again and I believe it was a 7. I shot another 8 right next to the other one and adjusted my site again. Jenny got up and shot another 10. Mandy shot, I believe hitting a 9 and I got on the line and shot a 9. Jenny got up and shot a 10.

At the end of the first end we were up 3 points… it was a strange position in to be in because you have the upper hand. I remember thinking, “Oh, this is great; if we can just hold it together we should be able to win this one.” I thought a little too quickly. You can never be too comfortable in international competition… a 3 point lead can be reversed in an instant… I remember my first match against Lindsay Pian at the AZ Cup in 2003, after the first end she was up 7 points but I managed to win by that margin in the end. On the next three arrows, I managed an X which very well could have been a lot lower given the amount of time I held the bow. I also got a little nervous on one shot and hit a high 7. Yet on another I aimed off just a little to the right and hit exactly where I aimed shooting an 8.

After 18 arrows the Brits had pulled out ahead of us by 1 point. I remember being a little surprised because I thought that we had shot the second end pretty well, just one point lower then the first with a 76 for a total of 153. On the last end, I felt particularly bad for Mandy, while she was in the middle of a shot one of the British girls popped a 6 and Naomi (one of the GB Olympians) called the arrow just as Mandy was releasing the shot. Had I been in the same position, I might have found it difficult to shoot my shot without being distracted by her shouting the number 6, I have a hard enough time trying to keep my mind from thinking about 5s or 6s let alone hearing it. Whether Mandy shot the 6 b/c she heard it or just because she was nervous really doesn’t matter because there was nothing we could do about it at that point.

When we got down to the target and we added the scores up, my stomach almost dropped (and I think Jenny’s actually did) when we saw that we only lost by one point. The British were nice about it though, instead of rubbing it in our faces they nicely shook hands and went back to the line to get ready for their next match against China. There were (and still are) several moments where I look back at that match and wish I could go and redo it. A 6th place finish was pretty good for the team, but it was also very disappointing given the fact that the Brits then went on to win the silver without us.

I didn’t cry. In fact, I think I was too disappointed to cry. Jenny and Mandy decided to go over to the practice range to work some of their frustration out and they asked me if I wanted to come along. At first I said no because I felt so bad I just wanted to pack it up, but then I decided to join them to show them that I supported the team and that I wasn’t mad at Mandy. We barely talked on the practice range, I asked if they wanted pizza again for dinner (since they had ordered it the night before), then shot a final round (with 5 arrows smack in the center of the target and walked back over to see the finals.

About an hour later, when we were changed for pictures, Mandy and Jenny were talking about the loss. Mandy asked Jenny if she ever got mad at the person who shot the lowest score on the team. I thought Jenny had a great answer, “No…”she said, “In fact, I get mad at the people who get mad at the person who didn’t shoot the best.” She then added that she hated to see when people got hard on themselves for being the one who shot the worst. I then tried to explain how I felt about it… even though she had the toughest round out of the three of us, I was more mad at myself for my 7 and 8 which cost us up to 5 additional points. But, “More Importantly,” I told her, “I could never have blamed you for the loss unless I shot a perfect score, which I didn’t.” David Kronengold later mentioned something even more important to me… unless someone deliberately blows a match, there is nothing to be upset about.

Later on at dinner when we were reviewing it yet again, Mandy and Jenny both said that I did a good job. The funny thing is, I had been praying for the past month and a half that I would do my part and not fail the team… they had no idea how glad I felt that I did what I wanted to do.

So the tournament came to an end, the banquet and party was the next logical step to finish up the grand prix circuit. Oddly, I was very pleased with how things went overall. I shot two personal bests at individual distances (70m in a FITA and 50m). I shot a personal best FITA in a tournament (and not just any tournament, an international one) of 1253 and I was able to hold it together in the team round and not let anyone down. My weakest link was probably the individual eliminations which was really the one aspect of the tournament that I hadn’t done as much mental preparation as the others.